Waxing Nostalgic

   After I wrote the post about John Smith, I phoned my mother to ask questions about my father's time in the Navy during WWII and the Korean War.  I wanted to know some facts before my opportunities escape me.

   I then went back to the box that had John and Daisy's picture in it and found a notebook I haven't seen in years.  I will post a few entries here.  Those who know me know my Dear Daughter became mine at 12 months, 3 weeks, in China.  Of course what I post here is edited as much is too private to share. 
     I have never really been much for journaling but during the waiting period wrote a lot.  I didn't want to bring my journal on this trip so I just wrote in a notebook. Somehow the notebook got separated from the other journals.  When I found it today and read it, I was amazed at how acutely I remember the below events and emotions. 
     Though these writings took place over 18 yrs. ago it was such a blessing to go back and read how fresh it all seems.  Though at times hard I still am grateful for the stretch.

Here is a post from the day we became a family and then a few days after:

(day of)
     "This is the day you and I will cease to be alone in this world.  It has been hard the past few days.  I am not alone (Grandma is with me) so I do not pray as I would at home.
     I will have you in two hours.  My heart and mind are too small to consider and contain all of this wonder.  I have dreamed for 18 months of touching your face.  Please forgive me if I do it a lot the next 18 or 40 years..."

(two days later)
     "I can't stop staring at you.  You are the most amazing baby I've ever seen.  Today you took five steps by yourself.  Grandma and I were so excited.  She taught you the High Five sign and I taught you PattyCakes.  You sure are pleased with yourself.
     The day I got you was the longest and most incredible day of my life. (Long because we had many official documents to sign and governmental offices to visit.)   I'm so sorry that words can't express the enormity of the moment they placed you in my arms.  Once they handed you to me I wasn't aware of very much else happening in the room.  You cried and threw your head back.  This was a difficult time for you.
     Now, two days later, you hold your arms out to me when I walk into the room.  (Grandma is with you if I have to leave the room.)  I am so astonished by how strong my love is for you.
     Today Grandma went on a tour and you and I remained behind due to you running a fever.  I fell asleep for 15 minutes while you slept.  I dreamed that you disappeared.  I woke up and you were crying in your crib.  That dream scared me so much.
     You have a strong personality but already seem to feel safe with me.  I think Grandma thinks you are the best baby in the world.  Goodnight, dear  _______.  I love you with all my heart.
Oh, one more thought.  When I was playing with you on the floor today, I put a few bottle caps just out of your reach.  You had to stretch to reach your goal.
God spoke to me and told me that's how He grows His children---making then reach further than they have before, to reach the goal He has in mind.  You are one of His goals for me.  Today how very much I love the stretch."

 

I wanted to make a classy announcement.  The bunnies on the bottom right were hand embossed by me.  All I needed near the end of the wait was her personal information.

I have blurred it all out because we both value her privacy.  Inside the folded announcement was a photo I'd taken of her in China, looking at Goodnight Moon while playing on the floor. 

     This announcement was in the same box.  What a treasure trove I found today.

 

 

I still love you, Dearest, with a fierceness that knows no bounds nor expression.